I went to him last month for a check-up and nothing was wrong so I don’t see the point in my going again after a short period of time. That means he’s going to clean my mouth again. I don’t want to wear those scratched sunglasses that he makes me wear to block out the light. I don’t want that yucky strawberry-flavoured fluoride that leaves me gagging on my newly-flavoured spit. I don’t want to “not eat for 30 minutes”.

Maybe I’m just traumatized by previous experiences. Trust me.

A few years ago, I had really weird teeth. I had cavities and some teeth were turning black. I had to do a lot of things to fix them up and it wasn’t a painless process. But it was all worth it. Now my teeth are all better.

Anyway.
I’m really sad about moving into Year 9 next year. High school is going way too fast for me.
My older friends have told me that Year 8 is a bludge so I should make the most of it. They’re really scaring me.
Like I don’t have enough fears D:

I’m scared of Year 10—School Certificate exam thing.
I’m scared of Year 11—The year before we do our HSC and also, I have to move schools because my current school only goes to Year 10.
And of course, I am scared of Year 12—HSC + worrying about what I want to do after I leave school.

I feel like I won’t have enough time to prepare myself for the exams and such. I think that is why I’m just so scared of everything. But I will follow everyone’s advice and make the most of Year 8.

You know, one thing I can’t understand about school is how a student can fail a subject or an assessment without guilt.
Some people are proud to be bludging in class and wasting their parent’s money. I mean, school isn’t free. I go to a catholic school so it definitely costs a bit of money (though I’ve seen prices that are way higher).

But it’s not just that.
I can’t disappoint a teacher.
I don’t like screwing up in front of them, I don’t like getting a lower-than-my-average grade in front of them. I don’t know why but I always think that people expect so much from me and I force myself to reach their expectation.
And this really applies to teachers because I am usually getting A’s so I don’t like getting lower.

Whenever a teacher says “I’m disappointed with you” it really stings me.
I always feel like I owe teachers because they’re the ones who have to put up with moody and usually mardy teenagers.

And I just read through this whole blog and it hurt my eyes. Odd.

• Do you like going to your dentist?
• Was high school pleasant for you (or is it pleasant)?
• Current song that is in your head?

Okay, I’m off to do my assignment waste time.
New layout soon. Sorry for the delay.
(A Certain Romance—Arctic Monkeys)

Anyway…
I think in previous blogs I have said that I don’t like it when people despise rap and other genres but suddenly, I realized that I am such a hypocrite. Now it’s not that I hate any genre in particular—in fact, my music taste is quite diverse and I can even take small doses of black metal and tecno. But for some reason, I can’t stand anything mainstream. I know mainstream isn’t a genre —it covers a lot of genres actually.

I don’t hate whoever listens to it I just dislike it. And whenever I discover that somebody listens to it, I make assumptions about them. This has really got to stop. I shall explain why I’ve changed my thoughts …

My cousin was looking through my iPod and noticed a few bands—they’re not so much ‘mainstream’ but they are pretty popular. And he kept going on about how crap they are because they’re well known. And I actually felt hurt—I felt bad because I’m always mocking Justin Bieber and whoever listens to him might actually be offended. I can never picture myself ever liking Justin Bieber but some people actually do.

So I am sorry. And I will stop.

—

I am working on a new layout. It’s almost done, just so you know. I’m working on the stylesheet. I was going to upload it yesterday but I just think it’s too boring. I need something to spice it up—like a photograph. I’m always using textures and brushes but I want to use an actual photo. So I shall find one or take one. My photography is real crap and to be perfectly honest, I don’t even know where my camera is. I need inspiration.

‘Arcadia’ is in my handwriting which is pretty cool and I even scribbled a flower on it. It just looks uninspired so I’m going to make a few changes.

I’m just happy that I actually made a decent header. Lately, I’ve been busy.
Actually, my time management skills are pretty limited.
No wait—I lack time management skills period.
There has been so much to do in the past term but I’ve also had free time. I just waste it all.
Yesterday, I didn’t go to school. What did I all do for 3 hours? Watch a whole season of 30 Rock (it’s ridiculously good, by the way).

But not all of my time has been wasted.
I’ve been busting my ass at school and I came home on Friday with a good report.
I did so many things I’ve wanted to do—clean my wardrobe (it’s close to empty now), make a skirt (yes, I can sew) and I even decorated my wall! Well, the wall in front of my study area. It’s mostly pictures of musicians, fashion, sentimental drawings and inspiration messages. Hah, cool right?

Oh, and and and and…
Muse is coming to Australia!
And the chance of me seeing them has increased from around 50% to 80%! Which is so bloody super. But I’m just praying to God that the tickets don’t sell out. You know how Muse is extremely popular—and extremely good live… sigh.

If I could see Matt Bellamy’s face….

Anyway…
Plugs:
- Justin Bieber—even if I really, really, really don’t like your music
-Not losing your cameras… very inconvenient. Especially when you have a world which needs photographing
-30 Rock—aha, fantastic
-Muse’s Resistance concert in December!
-This wasn’t mentioned but Alex Evans’ epic fashion taste. Look: click here . I’m actually quite envious of his shoe collection. I’ve wanted Doc Martens for around 3 years. Sigh. And he’s got other stuff too.
- And lastly, Paramore and All Time Low. I don’t usually listen to stuff like yours but it’s actually quite catchy and fun. I don’t care what my cousin says. And I’m sorry for ever underestimating your music.

P.S Do I look evil in this photo?

I just added a texture over it and all of a sudden my eyebrows look evil. Both people in there are me and the text reads ‘juggernauts and butterflies’ because I love both.

1. A weird conversation between my brother and I -
Ed: Wow, how much money do I owe you now?
Me: Huh? Oh, I don’t know. Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter
Ed: Well listen. If you need anything just ask me every second Monday. Starting next week.
Me: Uh huh.
Ed: If you need anything…
Me: I don’t need anything
Ed: If you want anything …
Me: I want you to scratch my foot.

2.I’ve realised that I’ve ‘bitched’ about too many people through the internet—well mostly teachers and crap. So now, whenever I’m expressing how I feel, I’ll avoid saying so many negative things about people.

3.I really hate it when you see something in someone and you try to … I don’t know, ‘enhance’ that small thing, to bring out the good in that person and they turn out to be a complete ass It’s so disappointing, don’t you think? Has anyone experienced this? Here’s an example stolen from the movie of “A Walk To Remember”. If you’ve seen it you might have an idea about what I’m talking about. Jamie goes to Landon and says something like “See you at my house?” and he says “in your dreams.”

Yeah something like that. But in the movie he grows to be a really sweet boy.
Sigh,
If only real life was like that.

5.I missed number 4.

6.A lot of my favourite artists are releasing new albums this year. Some already have. Or so I’ve heard. Anberlin, Kenna, Lupe Fiasco, The Maine and many more.

7.My friend was busting so once the recess bell rang, she ran for the toilet. We waited for a teacher to open the toilets…
Me: She needs to pee
Deputy Principal: Don’t give me the details, you decide.
Friend: I decide to pee.

I don’t understand why I found that funny.

8,Alexi really likes it when people wear those plain Mossimo shirts. And even if he doesn’t know you, he’ll “be your best friend” if you wear one :P

9.Potato bake is very, very yummy.

10.We’re studying perspectives in art and I really suck. In one drawing, I forgot the whole foreground T_T.

11.My mum’s engaged ^_^ Her fiance lives in the Philippines and so she’s drowning in paperwork. I think her statutory declaration thing is funny because my mum had to write a detailed story of her love life to prove that her relationship with Vince is legitimate. Anyway, she might have a small wedding or a big wedding—and regardless of what sort of wedding it will be, she’ll force me to wear a dress. I will, of course, wear a dress but I’m trying to convince her to let me choose.

Because she’s going to choose something unflattering. Like a pastel coloured one that will make my skin look bad. Or something too tight in the wrong places :S

Oh well.
I’m happy because she’s happy.

12.I have a few half yearlies coming up and I don’t know how I’ll cram all the needed information into my head in time.

13.We also have a walkathon coming up and I don’t know how I’ll raise enough money by then.

14.Warming up before vigorous exercise actually works. And not warming up really sucks. On Wednesday we went to the school gym and I worked so hard but it didn’t hurt. It’s been a few days since then and my arms ache.

15.It’s Georgina’s birthday today May 29^th, and my blog doesn’t say that it’s because the timezones are weird. So happy birthday to her

16.I wish my mum would let me buy clothes online. I find the closest shopping centres limited I really want some band merchandise for once

17,People laughed at how you say ‘female dog’ in French.

18.I think that’s all for today. Bye.

Honestly I had no intention of going at first. Firstly it’s a formal party. Usually I could get away with pants or a plain skirt but this is strictly formal. And strictly black and white. I only really have 2 dresses. One is pink and the other is grey. It’s in a week and I don’t really have time for shopping. I don’t have the money either (but my friend bought her dress in a sale. A really pretty one for $15 :D) My second reason is because I don’t have a mask. I don’t know where I could possibly find one. It’s not allowed to be purple because Bambi’s one will be purple :P

The next day I get a call from Christine. She told me that her mum had already prepared a dress for me and that her sister will do my hair. And my ‘make-up’ but I think I can slip out of that mess. I’m not really comfortable with wearing make-up and the only things that people have forced onto me are lipstick, mascara and blush. I think it makes me look stupid. Lipstick is too obvious, mascara may turn into ’spider legs’ as Jorja calls it and blush. Well I don’t have an excuse for that. Err… it clogs your pores?

Anyway. It’s just not comfortable. I’m alright with playing with my hair, though. I like curling it. It’s exciting

All I need is a mask. I could make one only I’m hopeless at paper mache. For art I had to make this mask and I couldn’t. Maybe that’s just a really hard mask to do. I’m not too sure.

I don’t know any shops close to where I live that actually sell masks. And if I order online, it might not come in time. So my mum is just going to buy me one. She works in the city and there are so many shops there. I just hope the mask isn’t too expensive. After all, I think I’ll only use it once.

I’d actually like to memorise the V for Vendetta alliteration and come to the birthday party with a Guy Fawkes mask. Aha, only kidding.

I am very excited now But scared at the same time.

As for this website…
I’m getting lazier and lazier though I do have new things that I could add to my portfolio. Believe or not, I actually have things to put there. I’m just waiting to find a scanner so I can actually upload them. And then I could open up.

Oh, and I am also waiting for my laptop charger to be fixed. I have a Wacom Bamboo Tablet and I don’t want to use it on this computer because the lack of RAM. Screw 512 MB. It makes me want to jump off a cliff.

Out of all the parties you’ve been too, what was the most interesting one?

I was listening to “I Want My Life” by Smile Empty Soul and I suddenly felt sad. You can easily tell that this song is sad. I mean, I even considered it to be an ‘emo’ song when I was younger. The name of the band sometimes depresses me because I think it relates to fake smiles. Fake smiles hiding heartaches. And I know this may sound extremely cheesy but listening to the song made tears come to my throat—and don’t laugh at me when I say this—I don’t know if tears come down to your throat or up to it :P. I just knew they were there. But they were actually tears of joy

This song reminded me so much of 2008—one of my favourite years. I’ve never told anyone I’ve met online this but I actually lived with my best friend—Christine. My family and I had just moved out of my Aunt’s house and moved into Christine’s. There were 8 of us in the house but we managed to share 4 rooms. It wasn’t hard.

Both our families were tight. So tight that I actually used the word tight in a non-sarcastic way. Living with them for a year is the main reason why I enjoyed 2008 so much—so many things had happened. We even had little rituals. Well, they weren’t rituals. Crap. To be honest, I don’t know what to call them. Well, anyway, I think I just want to talk about some things I remember.

I remember waking up at around midnight and I’d find Tita Malou watching Korean dramas. Tita Malou is Christine’s mum.
She really loved this Rain guy. I remember watching A Millionaire’s First Love with her and Christine. And I remember crying because of the ending. It’s a good movie. You should watch it.

Let me tell you one thing. Tita Malou is an amazing woman. She is not afraid of anything. I’ll give you one example. Once I walked into the kitchen. Guess what. There was a dead rat lying in front of the freezer door. I don’t remember exactly what happened then but I know that she picked up the rat and tossed it in the bin as if it were nothing. Pretty freaky. I also remember standing behind her in borrowed high heels (yes, high heels) as if the rat could somehow run across my feet. And Christine’s little brother was also behind her in high heels :P I actually got the idea of him, so.

I must have gained 4kg when I lived there because if there was food, there was a lot of it. We loved instant noodles :). Christine and her little brother CJ are allergic to all dairy products. Yeah imagine that—having to be careful because a drop of milk could make a rash. Anyway, Veronica (Christine’s older sister) used to make the Mi Goreng. Not all the time but most of the time. Those eating sessions were quite cool because we always had random conversations.

Ooh, I also learned that soy sauce and rice rolled up in Lebanese bread tastes really good. Thanks Christine for teaching me that.

Okay, I know this blog is a little all over the place and I apologise.

Most mornings I’d sing a song by Smile Empty Soul. It definitely woke everyone up. I feel sorry for them because they had to put up with my terrible singing. Sometimes when I was singing ‘Silhouettes’, Veronica would just look at me and ask me if I were okay. And then we’d just laugh. Veronica, Christine and I. Sometimes Tita Malou too.

Living there was so fun.
I’ll never forget those times :P

I don’t really think anyone will understand. Or maybe you will in you’re own weird way. Everyone has these ‘good times’ that they’ll never forget. So we all somehow relate to each other. I don’t know. I feel like I’m drunk because everything I’m saying seems hard to understand :P Anyway, it’s 1:20am and I still have to return comments. Have a good day.

Oh, almost forgot, I know that the date for this blog may be incorrect but that’s becaue I have to set the post date back a few hours so that it’ll actually show up. I don’t know. FanUpdate’s gone weird.

Speaking of school…

• Singing in math has become a habit of mine. It’s either Showstopper by A.J Rafael or Nat King Cole’s L-O-V-E. Lianne and I sometimes sing Whitney’s classics as well.
• Our school now plays a song after the bell rings. Some songs even have subliminal messages like a remake of the song “I Got A Feeling”—I’m pretty sure the original version doesn’t have “I Like Books”.
• Instead of having to pick up bags of rubbish, we pick up buckets of rubbish (old news but…yeah). The Environmental Portfolio Leaders probably suggested this.
• My class had a random debate with the Environmental Portfolio Leaders who got angry at us because we didn’t turn our fans, computers and lights off for Earth Hour. It even got to a point where this girl noticed that they were using paper fans and started calling them tightasses. That’s not even relevant O_O. Someone even said “if you really want to do something about the environment, shut down China! They make the most pollution!”. Yeah, my class is weird.
• I just realised that a Mr. Mulligan looks like Susie Salmon’s neighbour. The Lovely Bones has made me paranoid.
• Canteen lines are the best place to socialize and make new friends. I discovered this on Friday.
• I was very close to getting full marks for my HSIE extended response. The only problem is that I tend to use the term “a lot” a lot and my teacher told me to fix my vocabulary. I’m doing quite well in History—something I would have never expected. We’re studying the age of exploration.
• We kept a tally of how many times Ms D’Souza says “You got it?” and it added up to 22.
• 4 more school days until holidays!

Yeah I don’t have plans for the holidays. My mum will be in the Philippines and I will be living at my Aunt’s house for a while. I hope her internet is really fast. I will not be staying at my dad’s house as I thought I would because I’ll be at my Aunt’s house and my Aunt hates my dad >_>. Anyway.

I’m going camping at some time after the holdiays. I’ll be going to Jervis Bay with a few relatives I really love sleeping in tents. Especially when it’s raining. It’s so relaxing and you can hear the rain dropping on the tent.

Right now I am working on my Art Assessment. I’m making a collage with Pokemon cards and Monopoly money + other materials. I’ll show you the result once it’s done. Don’t expect anything good. Mr Madigan did say I’m a phenomenal drawer but most teachers tend to exaggerate.

I’m going to go now and finish whatever has to be done. Here’s a cover of Black and Gold by Sam Sparro for you to enjoy. Bye!

Well, the rain was pleasant. My mum got a bit angry because uniform smelled like rain.

I like the smell of rain.

Moving on…

My dad invited me to sleep over his house during the holidays! And it’s Week 7 on Monday which means only 3 more to go. Another good thing is, Mum isn’t making me feel guilty for wanting to sleep over his house. Mainly because she’ll be going overseas. I hope she’ll be safe.

Oh yeah, my dad has really fast internet and around 4GB ram.
But that’s not the reason why I want to sleep over

I am definitely going to buy a new computer. I cannot stand this any more. When I log on, I have to wait 20 minutes because MSN, Yahoo Messenger, AIM, + other programs to load. What the heck, man, I don’t even use AIM. No one does in this house. I’m going to find out how to stop them from opening up automatically.

So, after 20 minutes I exit all these programs and doing that removes around 10% of the lag which is okay for a while.

And then after an hour I have to restart it or tolerate the lag.

It’s starting to piss me off.
Everyone knows what I do when I’m sitting in front of a laggy computer.
I pull my hair out.
And although I have plenty of hair to spare, it still isn’t healthy.

Oh yeah. If you’ve studied French before, you might know what my blog title means. It’s the first line of the Hail Mary and everytime we have French, we sing it. It’s become the catchiest song that my class knows. O_O Even people who are known to get lower grades in English can memorise all 46 words of this O_O.

When we sing it in class, I always end up laughing. Maybe because my accent is weird or because I really suck at singing. For example, when we say ‘de notre mort’ it gets really low and I sound like a man. I have learned not to laugh but for some reason, I crack up at ‘mere de dieu’.

Surprisingly, French is easy to learn but I’ve heard that it’s also easy to forget.

Questions.

• Are you liking the weather?
• Can you speak more than one language?
• Do you ever feel like you’re forgetting to breathe?

God told me to love you.
But it’s not that easy when you’re always throwing stuff on our veranda.

Do you remember when you vomited on our veranda?
You did that on my mum’s birthday. Yeah, that was the nicest gift she received >_>
My older brother spent over and hour cleaning your breakfast up when he could have been doing his TAFE homework or something.

Do you remember when you were pouring buckets of water onto our veranda?
Yeah, you also drenched my uniform which was supposed to be dry before the day after.

Do you remember the last time you dropped an empty beer bottle on our veranda?
The time where you nearly hit my younger brother who was innocently riding his bike.

Do you remember when you chucked someone’s poo on our veranda?
Okay, seriously. Why couldn’t you just flush it down your toilet? I mean, why throw it on someone’s veranda? Is this your attempt to save water? Well if it is, my mum had to use around 9 buckets just to clean it and get rid of the smell. My mum also hurt her back cleaning up your mess.

And I don’t care if it was your dog’s poop. You’re not even allowed to have dogs in this building.

Seriously.
Why can’t you guys just be considerate? Is it really that hard? I mean, you make me want to knock on your door and kick your ass. We are going to complain to the owner of the building because we are concerned. But I secretly hope that you get evicted.

Love, Monica.

P.S—We don’t appreciate your weird taste of music either.

——-

Hello everyone. Sorry about that. I just don’t like my neighbours. I think I said enough about them.

I have this really strange habit. For some reason, I’m always thinking about the future. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

The main questions that I ask are things like…

What will I study when I grow up?
What will happen tomorrow?
Where will I be 20 years from now?

There are so many unanswerable questions floating in my mind. I can’t stop them. Is there any way to block things out of your head? Could I just squeeze the thoughts and questions out of my pores? This is what keeps me up all night. I think something is wrong with me!

I probably don’t have any undone homework. I think I should probably return comments now XD.
It’s already February and I haven’t been blogging much. My goal is to blog at least 2 times a week. Let’s see how that goes.

Questions.

• How are your neighbours?
• Do you think about the future a lot?

Peace.

I’m excited to get back to school. I feel so lonely at home. Today I slept from 4am to 5pm. I seriously have nothing to do here.

You know, I’ve been listening to Muse quite a lot. I really like Muse but I can’t listen to them at night because their songs are so spooky. I can’t listen to to Muse or Atreyu at night. Weird, right?

My great grandmother and my mum’s stepmum (or my step grandmother) will stay at my house for 3 weeks, I think. I feel sorry for them because my house is so boring. All they can do here is watch Filipino movies (because we don’t have TFC) and eat and sleep. They could play Guitar Hero or Rock Band but seriously, do you think they can? I suggested that and they don’t even want to try. I wonder if they’d be any good. I have plenty of books they can read but I don’t know.

I love books. I bet most of you do. There’s this book that I’ve refused to read for, like 2 years. It’s been on my shelf for a while (it’s my cousin’s but he never got it back). I didn’t read it because it’s called ‘Spiking The Girl’ and, y’know. I thought it was a book about getting girls drunk and then having sex with them but there’s much more to it. I actually read the book and it’s really good. This girl, Gemma, is investigating the death of one girl and then all of a sudden, the death of another girl. It’s some freaky crap. I don’t want to spoil it for any of you if you’re reading it (which you’re probably not, but anyway). Spiking The Girl—Gabrielle Lord.
There is another book that I am in love with. The Pact—Jodi Picoult. But then again, most of Jodi’s books are great.

I watched Bride Wars the other night and I think that it’s quite funny. You know, I don’t understand the big deal about weddings. I know your wedding day is extremely important but some bride-to-bes get so carried away that they forget about the grooms. D: If I were to get married, I would have a wedding that won’t put me in debt for the rest of my life

By the way, Rikki , my very good friend, has opened up a new website! She has many new things to come so you should probably check it out!
Questions.

• Do you like math? Are you any good?
• What was the last book you read?
• What is your ‘dream’ wedding?

Okay everyone. Make this face and say goodnight.

Sorry for this really weird blog. I’ll come up with something better soon enough.

I met her yesterday but she was born on the 29^th of December. My dad brought her over and I must say that I think she’ll look a bit like me (sorry, sis) when she grows up. We have the same eyes and I don’t even think that she inherited anything from her mum—which is odd.

I’ve always found babies weird. I mean, yeah they’re really adorable but they’re so strange at the same time. Their weirdly shaped heads and the way they look at you. It’s freaky. Caitlyn, for some reason, always faces the left—when she’s lying down, when we’re carrying her—it’s weird.

And I head that a baby can have blue eyes even when the mother and father have brown eyes. That’s some pretty cool stuff

So right now I have around 2 brothers, 1 half sister and if my dad marries his girlfriend, I’ll have a step sister. I always thought that it would just be my 2 brothers and I but I was wrong.

I thought that I was gonna finish my layout yesterday but I want to just increase my coding knowledge. I’m reading a bit about Javascripts and it’s pretty strange. I mean why would you write a whole code for normal text?

I don’t understand life.

• Do you think babies are weird and a little bit freaky?
• What would you name your baby if it was a girl?

I would name my girl baby one of the following:
Audrey
Rosie
Valerie
or any other name you can find by listening to my iPod :P

I’m such a mess right now. And I think this blog will be such a mess too.
We’ve done so much in the past week (which happens to be the first week of my holidays). Now that Christmas is over I think I should catch up on some sleep. Egh.

Has anyone ever had a sad Christmas or New Year? Everyone says that these days are supposed to be happy—especially Christmas—but I’ve noticed that not everyone has a very nice day. My school tried to tell everyone that in the last term. We were all asked to bring in something so that we could make hampers for less fortunate people. I think it was a good idea

My Christmas was cool. We had this ‘Noche Buena’ party. I don’t know the exact definition but I know that there’s heaps of food. The house we celebrated it in was too small for, like, 60 people. That’s not even half of my extended family, I think. The younger people were outside playing with 2 candles—including me. Crazy, right? I thought that I was the only one fascinated by fire…must be a genetic thing.

We started making wax balls and one of my cousins—Jayde—made a snow man. Or a wax man, I should say. I don’t even know if Jayde is my cousin O_O. Oh well. My wax ball was stupid. It kept breaking apart and I almost burnt my fingers. Egh. After wax balls, we found random objects and started to burn them. I tried finding some sticks but there weren’t any in the front yard. So I put my hand through the gap of the fence and looked for some. It was dark so I was using my phone as a light. And guess what I found.

A syringe.

Luckily, I didn’t touch it. I’ve never seen a syringe before. Well, not in the front yard of some stranger’s house. Some of my cousins know who live in that house—some kid named Christie and her parents O_O. Her parents must be a great influence. If it is the parents who are using the syringes, I hope that they are doing it in private without the child seeing them. But some random idiot could have walked by their house and tossed it in the grass.

Okay, what was I up to? Oh right, wax balls. No—sticks. Yeah, so we started burning sticks. Or I did at least. And Jordan—one of my cousins—tossed in a cherry seed. It killed the fire. Yeah. And there was ginger bread—who Jayde’s sister, Kacy, had discovered. She burnt it and said it tasted better. So I tried it and almost burnt my tongue. Oh crap, I almost fell of my chair just then. Anyways, I am proud to say that I have a family of pyromaniacs. Yeaah.

I forgot the other things I did that night.
Yesterday was Christmas. All I did was sleep in and eat and watch Supernatural. I was supposed to go swimming but it was raining so mum didn’t let me. I have this obsession with Supernatural. My cousin had series three and I almost finished it all. I’m still trying to figure out if Jared Padalecki has grey eyes or hazel? Or blue or green? Eye colours fascinate me. My eyes look black. Yeah. I have dark eyes. You can’t see my pupils unless you stick a flashlight in front of it. And doing that will make me go blind.

I don’t know why I’m talking about eye colours.

Wax balls.
Sorry. Is it just me or does that sound funny?

Yesh. I have this layout that needs working on It was supposed to be put up before Christmas because I thought all the coding was finished but then I checked browser shots and it looks so ugh in some browsers *cough* internet explorer. I was planning to ignore the ugliness but it also looks ugly in some versions of Firefox—the older versions. So I’m starting everything again.

Questions.

• What’s up? How you doin’?
• Would you code a layout first or return comments?
• Do you find fire fascinating? Do you ever play with it?
• Did you get anything for Christmas (if you celebrate it)?
• How do you eat a mango? I want every detail. :D

Have a nice day. See ya!

Edit: OH MY GOSH —I just had an idea that only a genius could have come up with. We could rewrite that ‘Sex Bomb’ song. And instead of saying Sex Bomb, we say Wax Balls. Wax balls, wax balls. You’re my wax balls and baby you could turn me on . How’s that?

I should be very happy. My yearlies are over. My year is almost over. I got my school report back and it was really good. I’ve only got three more days of Year Seven. It’s almost Christmas. Meh. I have many reasons.

I’ve been thinking about doing something lately. I’m not really sure what ’something’ is. I seriously want to do anything. So right now I’m going to come up with a list of things to do in the holidays. These are going to be random things. A combination of things I need to do and things I want to do and things I haven’t tried to do.

Before I continue, I want to talk about this guy we learned about in school. His name was John Goddard and when he was 15, he came up with a list of 127 things that he could do to live life to the fullest. The list included things like climbing mountains and reading plays and swimming in certain places. Obviously, my holiday list wont be this extreme or this long. I just wanted to show where the inspiration came from. I think John is like…85 or something and he’s completed so many goals already.

Hmm….what to do in the holidays.

1. Spend $50.00 on anyone but me. Christmas is great for this. I usually don’t buy gifts—my mum does.
2. Learn a life lesson. You know how some people, they randomly come to a realization and start making their own ‘Life is…’ quotes? Well yeah, I want to learn something about life. I know that I’ve lived only around a quarter of it but some people learn about life earlier than others. Why can’t I?
3. Come up with a better list.

Okay. I really suck at coming up with lists. Believe me, I’ve tried everything—pet peeves, bucket lists, everything. I’m willing to take suggestions though. Please do not tell me to go to the beach because I want to avoid getting really tan. And getting a melanoma. Australian summers. Ahk.

It’s 1:50am. And I still don’t feel like sleeping.

Hmm… What do I do now? 2:16am.
Hmm, maybe it’s time for me to sleep. Yeah. Okay. Good night. Proper blog later

Ever since my mum and dad divorced, my mum’s family has started to hate him although he didn’t do anything wrong. WAIT. He did see someone else during his marriage with my mum but they were already having problems anyway.

It’s over already.
I wish people would get that through their heads. Especially my mum’s side of the family—so yeah, his marriage totally f**ked up but that doesn’t mean that he is a bad person. I wish people would just shut up—he isn’t the monster that my mum describes. He’s is a very good person. But maybe him and my mum just weren’t meant to be together. NOW. Don’t ever tell me that it’s not too late. A lot of people misunderstand me when I talk about my family. I’m not saying that I want them to be together. They’re never going to get back together—not because ‘it’s too late’ but because it just didn’t work. Some people may ask ’so, why’d they get together in the first place?’ Well maybe God put them together to make me—or Eric or Edmar. There’s a reason, trust me, there is. But they will never get back together. Please do not tell me they will—because that would upset me. If they got back together, think of the people who would have to listen to them fight all night. They can’t be happy and together at the same time.

Back to my mum’s side of the family.
They’re so bloody biased. MY DAD IS NOT A BAD PERSON SO DON’T BITCH ABOUT HIM. Mum’s side of the family makes my mum look like the good guy, but she can be villain as well. I guess you could look up to my mum and say that she’s a hero—she looks after three kids alone, she manages all our financial problems and has a full time job but she is a motormouth. She says things like “I work hard for you kids and your dad doesn’t pay a cent.” Dad does try to contribute but he’s got problems of his own too. And she says all this other shizz about Dad but there’s too many things to remember. Dad really does try to help.

My mum says that she’s completely over my dad but it doesn’t look like it.
I think that if she was completely over my dad she would stop bitching about him and his soon to be wife? It’s been what, almost 4 years already geez O_O

Okay, so mum never shuts up. One time she blurted something out like “If I never had you I wouldn’t have this problem in the first place!” and I won’t even tell you why she said this. Hell yes I was freaking pissed. Do you want me to just kill myself now—so that you can pretend I never existed! Of course, I would never say that. I love my mum far too much but she just doesn’t know. I actually thought about living with my dad for a while. I want a break from my mum. Maybe she’ll be happy. It’s funny because she uses that as a threat! Do you want me to just send you to your dad, huh? HUH?!? Actually, mother, I wouldn’t mind.

But the thing is, if I dare to see my dad at all, I would lose all my respect. My family will dislike me because I like my dad. Is that wrong? I swear, the get angry at Ed and Eric for sleeping at his house. Why is that? True family members would want me to be happy. And I think that I may just find happiness at my father’s house. My dad screwed up—he did—but isn’t it time to forgive him yet? My dad is my dad—it’s a blood thing and I cannot change that. So why is my family so freaking mean to him?

I’m totally sorry if you do not understand why I just said. I’ve got four yearly exams on Monday so I’ll be gone for another week. If you don’t know what to say about my blog, you don’t have to leave me a really long comment. I understand.

Things happened today.

1. We walked into the classroom and found that the back floor was dirty. Dirty as in covered with dead, squashed flies. Don’t ask me how that happened. It just sort of did. You know, I should wonder how they got into the classroom in the first place but right now I’m thinking—How did they die?

2. Mr. Singh, I think, heard me call him a paedophile.
Nathan: Mr. Singh reminds me of a monkey.
Me: Oh yeah, well I think he’s a paedophile.
Nathan: Oh, really? Why? You think everyone’s a paedophile.
Me: He looks at me funny.
Nathan: Everybody looks at you funny.
That’s not really funny though. But whenever Mr. Singh approached our table, he smiled so I think he did hear me. I am not over reacting. I started to get scared of him in Term 2—he smiled at me funnily and my friend said that he put his hand on her back and it was uncomfortable. For some reason I am paranoid when it comes to rapists/paedos.

Blame the freaking Sydney rapist. The guy whose victims were in my city! Yeah, definitely freaky. My friend and I were crazy when it popped up in the newspaper. LOL. Christine and I would punch one of her foot rest thingoes to practice self defence. And I would bring umbrellas around everywhere so I had a weapon XD. Ahh, the good times.

So yeah. Everytime Mr. Singh approached our table, Nathan would say “Oooh, Monica, he’s coming for you. Coming to eat you!” It was funny but freaky at the time. And Mr. Singh kept standing behind me as if I couldn’t tell. I swear, it’s annoying. Usually he stands behind the middle table which is my normal seat but for some reason I ended up sitting next to Nathan and he sits on back left table. MR. SINGH WAS STANDING THERE O_O looking at us funny. I’m paranoid.

3.BAD ENGLISH. I complained because I thought there was something that didn’t make sense in the textbook. It said something like:
35 students get less than $5.58 students get between $5-10.
There was no space between 5 and 58 so it was misread by most people. Apparently there was a space so yeah T_T. I hate that stupid textbook. It’s not black and white but it’s shades of blue + black and white and that pisses me off. I think it was published in the 1970’s. There are heaps of typos that I’ve noticed throughout the years (well, I notice them because my friend Caitlin does).

4. We’re studying probability in Math
It’s a short topic and it’s pretty easy. I was asked to describe the chance of me winning the lottery. I was about to write ‘very unlikely’ and then Nathan goes “No. It’s impossible. You’re too young to win the lottery”. =_=.

New blog tomorrow. Peace.

I’m returning all comments now. If you want to return mine, please comment on the post before this one. Peace.

Nobody’s going to believe me when I say this.
My elbows and knees aren’t my natural skin colour. In fact, they’re so much darker than the natural me that you can see it from kilometres away. I’m not saying anything against having a dark skin tone. I just feel insecure because it’s NOT my natural skin tone.

At first I didn’t care so much about it. I was told that it would die off in a few years…but I swear. IT ISN’T DYING. I don’t want to have this skin condition thing forever. It isn’t nice wearing things that cover your knees all the time. Especially during Summer. And this knee/elbow thing isn’t even an uneven tan. I googled it and apparently you get it from constantly leaning on your knees and elbows. Otherwise, it’s genetic.

They suggested a few treatments. Like, whitening cream or something. But that probably has chemicals and I’d rather do the natural stuff. They said that rubbing lemon on my knees and elbows will work and that you might see results in 3-4 months but I don’t know if it’s worth the try. They said some crap about exfoliating but I’m not entirely sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, please comment.

Sorry about me guys. My list of insecurities is growing because I’m going through puberty, right?
I’ve finished two yearly exams. I got 59/65 for Science and I don’t know what I got for PDH yet. I’m pretty sure I failed PDHPE. It’s not my fault that I can only memorize my parts and not the boy’s ones.

School is okay. It’s just hard because we have to suffer so much. Today was around 35 Degrees Celsius T_T. I felt like dying. I wish it was Winter. For a really long time. Like, in Narnia. Winters may be dull and boring but it’s an epic season. You can fix being cold but to fix being hot, you have to have air conditioners and stuff. Argh. I love Winter. I’ve grown to like it. I used to like Summer…don’t know why.

I’ve been thinking about just not blogging for a little while but that’s sort of like hiatus-ing. I don’t really want to do that. I already abandoned this blog for a while T_T. I don’t really know what to do. Know what to do with my skin, with school, with my social life, with summer, with anything. I am desperate for health. Could someone please guide me and tell me what I’m supposed to do? Because I honestly don’t know XD.

I have to tell you that I won’t blog for a while. Partly because I want to return comments but I also have some yearly exams and other stuff. There are heaps of things to be done and in the end, I will post a really long blog Bye ya later.

Most of the time, when we don’t think we’re good enough, we try to pull off a new role. We try to be a different person to impress some people. It’s weird, right?

If you’re still not getting me, here’s an example.
I remember, last year in primary school, we used to wear blazers to a debate. I mean, only the debaters wore blazers. Blazers aren’t even a part of our uniform I swear, only 5 school blazers were made, so umm yeah—people got to wear them occasionally.

We once asked “Why do we have to wear these blazers?” They were such a nuisance, seriously! They were oversized and it was Summer for crying out loud. Oh I forgot to mention—they were blinding (no offense to our old school). They chose a blinding shade of blue for it.
“It’s to make our school look good.” The teacher replied.
Excuse me??? Please don’t mind my dramatic response to the teacher’s reply.

Do we not look good enough? Our school looks fine the way it is. It looks pretty bloody fantastic, actually. A school full of happy pupils—what more could you possibly want? I really love my primary school but I think I disliked the principal. I admit, my old school wasn’t exactly the largest and wealthiest school around (it was home to only around 250 students) but that doesn’t make my old school a bad one.

Since she took control, we’ve blown money out on a security gate (which is reasonable), some sort of re-asphalting thing (I don’t know what it’s called) and apparently, they knocked down the old hall which was there for so many years.

I think Mrs. Anderson (my principal) is really insecure. I’m not saying that the money she spent was wasted, I’m just saying that she has to stop masking the school. People will forget how great the students are. I think all she wanted to do was impress people. Sigh.

A friend of mine, Alexi, had once told me that a lot of relationships and stuff start with first impressions. This is quite true, I think. I mean, some boys and girls constantly look for ‘hot’ people. So, that’s why you see some girls getting all fussy on chipped nails and flat stomachs. They probably want to impress some boy.

Sad, isn’t it?
What about those girls who hardly get noticed? They might be really nice girls yet boys don’t really want to take any chances. edit: I hope that doesn’t sound sexist. It also works the other way around Sad. I think that’s why some relationships fail. Because some people just look for big boobs and great asses XD. PEOPLE nowadays. We are the perverted generation. Cheers!

So yeah. That’s all I wanted to say.
We’re all about impressing people some times. I really admire the people who don’t give a damn about people’s social/academic/financial/whatever status. It’s really awesome to be able to like people for who they are. So, you’re awesome if you’re one of those people who like people for who they are naturally! BYE!

Can you believe it?
I’ve only got 45 more days of year seven to go. Time goes so quickly.

I really hope that I don’t stuff this term up. There’s going to be heaps of final exams and stuff so I have to study hard T_T. We have swimming for PE this term—I can’t swim so I have to learn. I really don’t want to get a bad grade for PE.

We don’t wear stockings this term O_O.
I feel so exposed without my stockings—I feel as if I’m wearing no pants. It’s freaky. I hate skirts. Let’s hope that it won’t be so windy. I don’t know how I got through the first term without stockings. Stupid Summer uniform.

Speaking of Summer, my head feels lighter now that I got a haircut. I hate it when your drenching in sweat and your thick mane flies everywhere. I’m glad I got a haircut

It’s now layered—a bit. I didn’t want too many layers (for me, too many layers are hard to control). The lady cut my fringe weird though. It’s right in front of my eyes so my eye itches every now and then. I have to clip it up for a while so it doesn’t get in my eyes.

I really hope that no one makes a big deal out of my hair cut. People do that all the time. If you come to school with a new do, everybody stares at you as if they’ve just spotted a UFO. And then some people drag attention to you by screaming out “nice haircut!”. Ergh. The next day, nobody will even care about your hair.

Aargh, far out. My neck hurts so bad. I really have to fix my posture.
I’ve been sleeping on the couch for a few days because I want to be near the television so I can watch DVD’s during the early hours of the day. That’s probably why I’m so screwed up. Everything is screwed up—my sleeping patterns, my posture, my eyes and my eating habits. I have school tomorrow so I hope I’m a bit better by then. All I need is sleep (on an actual bed).

I think I may have broken something in my back so I’ll just leave you guys with questions.

• Do you ever think that music takes you away from the Earth?
• What are you wearing?
• Have you returned all your comments yet?

My answers.
Music, to me, does somehow take you away from the Earth.

I’m wearing pyjamas.

I haven’t returned any. So I better hop to it! Bye ya.

Okay. I’ll try to write a really short blog today

Don’t you just hate it when people say that your music is ‘gay’. That is the lamest thing you could say to someone.

Today I was listening to my iPod—with Gerard (Gerard who is still behind me playing World of Warcraft) and Aron (my second uncle who is my cousin—if you know what I mean).
It was on shuffle and every time a new song started, they would groan or complain about how ‘gay’ my music is.

Just because some songs aren’t RnB or Hip Hop or Techno doesn’t mean that they are gay. I hate how people always comment on the sexual orientation of my music. How can my music be gay? And it’s not my fault that the music I listen to isn’t overrated—If I could, I would make every radio station play songs by Kenna, Anberlin, Motion City Soundtrack, Lupe Fiasco etc…

I hate how people think songs are emo just because they don’t sound RnB-ish.
I was listening to With Everything by Hillsong and Gerard (the idiot) asked me about my music choice. “Why do you listen to emo songs?”. FAR OUT. I’m not saying that ‘emo songs’ are bad but I don’t even believe in that genre. Does it exist? Well, I don’t think so. Yes some songs may be sad and depressing but I don’t think they should be called emo. Emo = emotional, right? Well most songs I know are emotional so you might as well stop saying that songs are emo because that’s what they’re meant to be. Songs are supposed to express emotions.

And besides, we sing With Everything in church. My church wouldn’t let us sing depressing songs so I don’t know what Gerard is talking about.

People just don’t know how to appreciate music. Yeah, so there are some songs I dislike but I bet I could point out something good about. Oh, she’s got a great voice. Oh, the chorus is great. Oh, the bass guitarist is talented.

From now on, instead of calling music gay or emo, try to point out a good thing about the song.

Questions:

• What is emo music? What is gay music?
• What is your most played song on iTunes (or whatever program you use)?

My most played song is Baptized in Blacklight—Kenna. It’s a great song.

I’m really glad that you liked my layout. Now I just have to come up with a better layout for next time.

I have one more week of pure holidaying. I will try to add stuff to this site. I’ve tried making textures—some were nice and some weren’t. So I might be adding some. I have content to add to my portfolio, too. Good news, guys—my stylesheet is almost validated! There are two warnings but I can fix those up later. Now I just need to work on the XHTML validation thing. I’m almost finished that as well. I’m pretty sure some of those errors are from FanUpdate. I’ll fix it up.

I shall go now and return comments. Thanks again! Peace

Apparently the content and sidebar on top of the image looks funny. Should I move it down or something? Or otherwise, move the navigation to the right or something. I don’t really know. I’m just glad that I have a new layout.

I was getting sick of that little cloud which said Arcadia underneath. Bleh. I liked the colours and stuff so I kept them for this layout. As you can see, I still have yellow/gold and blue—with pink.

Okay. So, for the holidays, I have to stay home alone. I’m glad that Mum is starting to trust me. My mum used to throw a fit over leaving me home alone for 30 minutes. Well, not any more. See? All you have to do is get your mum to trust you and so many things can happen.

I’ve been home alone for about 10 hours now.

My Aunt came to visit me so she could get some clothes for my younger brother. Eric didn’t want to stay home with me so he slept at my Aunt’s.

The house was a bloody mess—the dishes weren’t washed and the floor wasn’t vacuumed.
Translated (from Taglish (Tagalog-English) to English. If you were Filipino, you might understand me).
My Aunt: Monica, there’s a dirty dish at the kitchen table
Me: Yeah, I’ll clean it up. Ed didn’t clean up after himself.
My Aunt: Yeah, I know. BUT YOU’RE A GIRL. You have to clean it up.

I’m a girl? Well, obviously. But WTF—is that some sort of sexist remark? It wasn’t a question so it must be.

I’m going to clean up the mess—not because I am a girl but because nobody else did it for him. Since when do girls clean up? Who even created that idiotic rule?

So, yeah—Girls are expected to work inside the house and boys outside. I don’t like that expectation. I mean, I don’t want to work outside but I think it’s just dumb. Why are there set jobs for each gender?

Now I know how my mum feels like. My mum does a lot of work in the house but all three of us (my brothers and I) have jobs too. But Ed and Eric make me do everything. Sigh.

Anyways. My life? Pfft, so boring that I don’t even want to talk about it. LOL. Actually, it hasn’t been so boring. I’m trying to watch as many movies as I can before school starts again.

It’s amazing how fast time can go.
It’s seems like I was born yesterday. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get married tomorrow? And die the day after? Actually, I’m not even making any sense to myself.

Oh well—that’s the way life is, isn’t it? I don’t think life is meant to make sense—you’re just supposed to enjoy it.

Questions:

• Suggestions for the layout? Comments?
• How was your day?
• What is life to you?
• Tell me in 10 words or less—what is love?